Happy Returns


Question: would you buy a gigantic Foosball table for someone who doesn’t have a basement or a rec room, or an interest in Foosball? How about for someone with a recent elbow/arm/hand injury?

I’m asking for me. Because that’s what my Mom slapped a bow on for me and said “Merry Christmas!”.

I thought it was a joke, this HUGE box disguised as a Christmas gift, with a plastic red tablecloth wrapping and a nearly life sized Santa Clause gift tag. She bought it online from Target, and she admitted it didn’t seem quite as large on her iPad. It weighed 168 lbs and came in a box larger than my Toyota.

Given that my sister had just unwrapped one of her old bras Mom gifted her as a joke, I could be forgiven for laughing out loud when I tore off the wrapping and saw FOOSBALL TABLE written on the side of the living room sized box.

I told her I had no room in my apartment. My roommate would have a fit. I sputtered on the endless reasons why I couldn’t accept it. I consoled her that it was the thought that counted, but told her she should have thought a lot harder.

She thought my response was hysterical. Now she’s trying to figure out how to return it.

I think she should keep it. Passing the casseroles will be so much easier.

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