WeakLeaks Strikes Again!

Can you IMAGINE what profanity laced emails they would have discovered if I worked for the DNC last Spring!

To: John Podesta
From: John-John

Hey Johnny P! Thanks for your risotto recipe! After reading how difficult it was, I ordered in.

Anyway, well it looks like Old Barnie Slanders won’t drop the fuck out of the race and the convention is coming up. Jesus, can’t he take a fucking hint? Does a house have to drop on him and Jane? Because I know a guy with a catapult.

Hey, if you know how to make a GOOD linguini and clam sauce, could you call Calo’s in Chicago? They don’t have a clue! Lol!

Later masturbator!

cc: huma, RicoSuave, HRC, DWS, Satan

Trump Bible: A Newer Testament

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Donald Trump got asked about the Bible again!

This time the Donald tried to bluff his way out of it, unlike the last time when he didn’t even try.

Trump started this mess not long ago by claiming the Bible was his favorite book, but then hilariously couldn’t come up with one verse. So, when asked again to name his favorite Bible passage, instead of disappointing, Trump this time flat-out made up a Bible verse out of his own hot air.

In a recent interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Trump replied that his favorite Bible verse was, “Proverbs, the chapter ‘never bend to envy.’ I’ve had that thing all of my life where people are bending to envy.”

Trump said he was quoting from the book of Proverbs, but no search by any Bible scholar so far has turned up this Bible verse in Proverbs or anywhere else.

Many people will argue that Donald Trump is an intelligent person. I’d argue the contrary. I would even argue that an allegedly intelligent man, upon agreeing to be interviewed by a network with the word “CHRISTIAN” in the title would have had someone Google “Popular Bible Quotes” before the interview. But it appears no one bothered to do this for him, and this self proclaimed business mastermind didn’t plan ahead for what was an easily anticipated question. But then maybe Trump was actually quoting from an even Newer Testament, his own 1987 New York Time’s best seller “The Art of the Deal”.

I’m telling you. it’s really getting increasingly hard to tell the difference between reality and satire anymore – and as a blogger, I am grateful.

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In case you missed my earlier post “Trumped Up Bible Quotes”, here are the Bible verses I imagined Donald saying. It’s a little bit eerie how close mine are to Donald’s made up Proverbs one!

“Do unto others the way they do you, but a lot harder, especially if it’s that fat loser Rosie O’Donell.”

“It’s easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than keep Mexicans out of our country. But I’ll make bigger, wider needles and build higher fences.”

“When Jesus was crucified – like I was by Megyn Kelly, he had blood coming out of his hands and feet and whatever, I prefer alive martyrs myself, but he said some good stuff.”

“The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want, because wanting is for losers. I’m a winner and I get what I want.”

“Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest….I got a string of very classy hotels, so I know a lot about that.”

#TrumpBible

Refuseland: A Dystopic Christian Wet Dream

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I went to the post office and the clerk refused my rainbow stamp. She said I could go to the next county over to mail my letter.

Then I tried to renew my driver’s license, but the only person available was a Muslim female who couldn’t talk to me because I wasn’t her husband or brother.

After that disappointment, I attempted to file my taxes, but the IRS employee wouldn’t approve my charitable donation because he said he doesn’t approve of my church.

Boy, it sure is hard to do business with all these different religious preferences being expressed in government offices – and now my driver’s license is expired! Hopefully, I’ll be able to get home on a bus driven by an atheist.

I wonder how it is in Iran?

Is Mike Huckabee A Perv?

Headline from the Business Insider: IMG_1499-0 Let’s add Mike Huckabee to the list of republican conservative Christian perverts. It’s just amazing to hear a Presidential candidate – and Fox News personality – wistfully talk about his missed opportunities to shower with high school girls.

Between this and his dismissing Josh Duggar’s midnight finger banging of his sleeping toddler sisters as “a teenage mistake”, I’m thinking Huckabee may be just another in a string of religious perverts with a secret. Does he have a Duggar/Hastert/Sandusky problem?

Of course, every time one of these religious fanatics open their big fat mouths condemning other people’s morals, they end up sticking their big fat foot back in. They say gays are cramming things down their throat, but there’s actually no more room.

With all the Duggarbots defending molestation and now Mike Huckabee, It appears southern Bible Belt Christians have a taste for tender girl flesh. In fact, the age of consent in Huckabee/Dugger County (Arkansas) is the lowest in the land: 14.

If you’re anything like Mike Huckabee or Josh Duggar, you are probably wondering which States allow you to fuck minor children. Here’s a handy video to help you remember the age of consent laws in all 50 States! Remember, the redder the State, the lower the age of consent!!

Know Your Age of Consent!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ivvr2MEJp1Q

Republicans Suck, Gay Republicans Swallow

This is an old column of mine from Gab Magazine. Despite the intervening years, Republicans still suck and gay Republicans still swallow. The names of the homophobes may have changed, but not their hate. So, when you read the name Pat Buchanan, just switch in Rick Santorum. Bob Dole=Mitt Romney, etc.                      

Don’t forget to take the online poll at the end: Do Republicans Suck?