Refuseland: A Dystopic Christian Wet Dream

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I went to the post office and the clerk refused my rainbow stamp. She said I could go to the next county over to mail my letter.

Then I tried to renew my driver’s license, but the only person available was a Muslim female who couldn’t talk to me because I wasn’t her husband or brother.

After that disappointment, I attempted to file my taxes, but the IRS employee wouldn’t approve my charitable donation because he said he doesn’t approve of my church.

Boy, it sure is hard to do business with all these different religious preferences being expressed in government offices – and now my driver’s license is expired! Hopefully, I’ll be able to get home on a bus driven by an atheist.

I wonder how it is in Iran?

Sandusky Duggared Me So Hard My Hastert

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Uh-oh! Looks like another “family values” Republican has a dark secret – which he was willing to pay a former student $3.5 million in hush money to stay hushed! When the sketchy details were laid out in a federal indictment last May, we all knew it was a sex scandal behind the hush money. The only question was: Boy or girl? Since ex-Speaker of the House Denny Hastert was also a former wrestling coach at Yorkville High, I immediately put my money on “boy”. I should have used the plural. Boys. At least four of them identified so far.

Of course, being a Republican, Hastert made it his duty to make life as difficult as possible for gays.

Here’s ex-Speaker Hastert’s LGBT voting record:

  • Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation.
  • Voted YES on Constitutionally defining marriage as one-man-one-woman.
  • Voted YES on Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage.
  • Voted NO to overturn “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” ban on openly gay soldiers.

It’s getting to the point when a politician comes out against gay marriage, you automatically wonder how many kids they’ve fucked.

* This whole thing reminds me of that old political maxim: Don’t get caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

* There may be additional victims, (maybe they settled for less than $10,00 in hush money). I’ll update when I find out more or have some better jokes.

**Update:

Heres a snippet from Coach Hastert’s book posted on Buzzfeed.

“I felt a special bond with our wrestlers,” he writes in the book, “and I think they felt one with me. In my talks with them, I stressed how important it was that they learned to do a few things well. That was better than trying to do everything halfway. ‘It’s work and not talk that wins championships,’ I kept telling them. ‘Perseverance is the key in whatever you do.’”

Also, it appears the Coach was kind enough to volunteer to drive some of his team members to wrestling camp way, way far off in Colorado! And they all stayed in a single cabin!  What a caring Coach.

***Update: Breaking News!

Hastert sentenced to 15 months in prison!

Also, Hastert’s victims confirmed as male members of the Wrestling Team he coached. (Told you so last year!)

Politics is so strange. One of Dennis Hastert’s victims is former Illinois Republican State Rep. Tom Cross’s younger brother. The victim never came forward publicly until Hastert, shockingly, and in very bad taste, asked his victim’s brother to write a character letter for Haster’s sentencing for bank fraud.

I don’t get it. Did Hastert forget he molested this man’s brother? How many kids did this perv abuse?

What’s really weird is that Dennis Hastert replaced Newt Gingrich as Speaker of the House of Representatives after Gingrich got caught having an affair and after Gingrich’s replacement Bob Livingston got caught having an affair. So, all three Speakers of the House involved in prosecuting Bill Clinton for lying about a BJ were themselves covering up dark secrets!

Scary Indiana, Scary Indiana…

For those morons who think Indiana’s religious nut law is “just like” 19 other states, let me educate you: there are federal protections against discrimination for race and sex, but not sexual orientation. A gay person can legally be fired in any state that doesn’t have a non-discrimination ordinance like we do in Illinois. The state law in Indiana supersedes local non discrimination laws, like the one in Indianapolis, making the refusal to hire or service gay people legal throughout the state. The whole reason the law was enacted was to give permission to bakers and florists to refuse service to gay couples. The law is the direct result of animus against gays. It is hate.

People with low IQs can’t imagine that similar laws may have different effects in different states depending on what other laws are also in effect. For example, each State has a constitution that may limit the scope of any law subsequently passed. Illinois’ Anti Discrimination Law gives statewide protections to LGBT in hiring, housing and public accommodations, excepting “ministerial” employers from the law. The Illinois Religious protection act doesn’t strip away these protections. In Indiana, where there were no protections to begin with, except at the local level – which this new state law now overrides, LGBT are further disadvantaged because the State has given explicit signals that gays are the real subject of this act.

To those bigoted businesses owners who think they should be able refuse service based on their freedom of religion, I ask you: who paid for the the road leading people to your business? Who paid for the sidewalk? The Police, the Fire Department? The taxpayers in your community paid for the infrastructure that allows you to prosper, including gays and divorcees, and people on their 5th marriage. Public accommodation laws respect this arrangement. Indiana’s law turns this polite concept on it’s head.

I could imagine begrudgingly supporting a version of Indiana’s pro discrimination law if it required businesses to display on their windows and websites which taxpayers in the community they refuse to serve. That way no one would have to suffer the indignity of being turned away from a public business for violating the owners hateful religious beliefs.

I’m definitely gonna join this boycott. But I HAVE to travel through Indiana a few times a year to visit my Mom in Ohio. Should I call ahead to inform them of my new religion, The First Church of No Speed Limits? I’d hate to have my religious beliefs infringed on the Tollway. #boycottindiana